What’s a good way to enrage the far right? Take a slave owner off the $20 bill.

What’s another way? Throw one of them in jail for breaking the law.

That’s exactly what happened to Eric Parker, Vice President of the Idaho III%. A couple years ago, he was photographed pointing an assault rifle at BLM law enforcement officers in Nevada during the Cliven Bundy standoff.

A couple months ago, he ended up in the stony lonesome.

But that hasn’t prevented him from communicating with the outside world via his Facebook page. On Friday, he published this 229-word beauty. It contains the usual: victimhood, false patriotism, and run-on sentences.

But one sentence really stood out.

“They (presumably the government) cannot allow the people to stand up for each other and they absolutely cannot allow the people to stand up for the Bill of Rights…”

This is a good teaching moment to all the anti-government, anti-public lands, anti-punctuation people out there.

This is not how you stand up for the Bill of Rights

Eric Parker with a gun Bundy III percenter

Not only is he obviously not even standing up, he’s training his high-powered, semi-automatic rifle on middle-class Americans who work as law enforcement officers with the BLM. How that furthers the Bill of Rights is as difficult to understand as an average Sarah Palin speech.

Accordingly, we’ve assembled a list of things that aspiring ‘patriots’ can do to stand up and make a positive difference for our nation and the Bill of Rights.

  • vote
  • work to get people registered to vote
  • adopt a child
  • go back to school
  • work to make going back to school affordable
  • read a book (not written by Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, KrisAnne Hall  et al.)
  • volunteer (no, militia camp doesn’t count)
  • adopt a dog
  • run for office
  • donate to charity
  • refrain from using racial epithets
  • join a civic organization (no, the III% does not count)
  • start a scholarship fund
  • write a letter to the editor
  • mow your elderly neighbor’s lawn
  • appear in public without being armed to the teeth
  • politely attend public meetings
  • stop wearing different patterns of camouflage at the same time

Here’s a list of things that don’t strengthen this nation or the Bill of Rights

  • waving the Confederate flag
  • arming yourself to the teeth
  • preparing for the end of the world
  • saying the words “freedom” and “liberty”
  • falsely quoting the founding fathers
  • using Rush Limbaugh as a science expert
  • being racist
  • declaring war on the government
  • denying low-income Idahoans health insurance
  • pointing a gun at law enforcement officers
  • thinking people who disagree with you aren’t patriotic
  • stealing away our public lands
  • wearing two different patterns of camouflage at the same time

Okay patriots, hopefully this helps. Now get out there and do something productive for your community!